JOKE! Micro$oft & Unix joke qoutes

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
The UNIX philosophy basically involves giving you enough rope to hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
The difference between Microsoft and Jurassic Park?In one, a mad businessman makes a lot of money with beasts that should be extinct.The other is a film.

The gates in my computer are AND, OR and NOT; they are not Bill.

Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!?Bill Gates, 1981Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM.?Bill Gates, 1996Nobody will ever need Windows 95.?Logical conclusion

Those who can't write, write manuals.

You have moved the mouse. NT must be restarted for the changes to take effect.

A computer without any MS Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.

If all else fails, read the documentation.

Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly).
Those who don't understand Unix are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.

You may not understand what I'm installing, but that's not my job. I just need to click Next, Next, Finish here so I can walk to the next system and repeat the process?
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.

MCSE == Minesweeper Consultant / Solitaire Expert

Press any key to continue, or any other key to cancel.

The only place for 63,000 bugs is a rain forest?

Of course I use Microsoft. Setting up a stable unix network is no challenge ;p

If the ancients were right and to think is to exist, does Microsoft exist?

The BeOS takes the best features from the major operating systems. It's got the power and flexibility of Unix, the interface and ease of use of the MacOS, and Minesweeper from Windows.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

A Law of Computer Programming:Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:Don't worry if it doesn't work right.If everything did, you'll be out of a job

Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC after reaching puberty.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Voodoo Programming: Things programmers do that they know shouldn't work but they try anyway, and which sometimes actually work, such as recompiling everything.
Eagleson's Law:Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or moremonths, might as well have been written by someone else.

A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more likeassembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else. It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.?

/* Halley */(Halley's comment.)

Never attribute to malloc that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
C is a language that combines all the elegance and power of assembly language with all the readability and maintainability of assembly language.

If it wasn't for C, we'll be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code,fix one bug, compile it again?101 little bugs in the code?

#define QUESTION ((bb) !(bb)) /* Shakespeare */

Give a man a computer program and you give him a headache, but teach him to program computers and you give him the power to create headaches for others for the rest of his life?
Bus error - driver executed.